Click Part 1 to read this series from the beginning.
I stated in Part 2 that repression can propel evangelical youth – including PKs – to act on same-sex attraction (SSA). While some readers might intuitively conclude that these young people act on SSA because they are gay, the majority of you PKs – along with many evangelical young adults – do not identify as gay. You widely report that this identity label simply does not fit. Looking beyond gay identity and hormones, then, how does repression cause some of you to act on SSA?
After many years of conversation on this topic, one important factor has surfaced. It is this: our world casts a deceptively dichotomous vision that there are only two valid options: one that can kill you (repressing your sexuality) and one that can set you free (celebrating your sexuality). Overloaded with theological responses to “practical concerns” and presented with an attractive view of freedom from the Gay Community, which of these two options would you choose?
Sadly, this dichotomy fails to capture a faith-based view of Christian freedom: the powerful mix of surrender and community. Surrender is the spiritual act of coming before the Lord – in all our strengths and struggles – and simply dwelling in His presence. We trade clinched fists for open palms. In this space, we let go of the emotional weight we are carrying. We are no longer alone: our God is with us. This discipline relieves the tension of repression offering a spiritual freedom that sets us free; one that strengthens us to walk in holiness, peace, hope and joy.
Ultimately, this freedom is most tangibly realized when we share our struggles with others. Part of spiritual surrender, then, is being in God’s presence; and the other part involves community – safe, honest connection with other believers who fully know us. As I close, here is a fifth affirmation: Living out a faith-based view of Christian freedom is the way for all Christ-followers. Those of us who struggle with SSA are not alone; all believers suffer.
If you struggle with SSA, healthy community ultimately needs to include your parents. If sharing your struggle with your parents seems impossible, contact me for further guidance. Join me tomorrow for the final post in this series. On Friday, you will be blessed as Justin (a PK) shares a bit of his story on Lead Them Home.
IMPORTANT NOTE: While most parents respond with grace, some of you may come from families with a history of physical abuse, sexual abuse, addiction, verbal harassment, shaming attitudes or homophobia. If this defines your family, I invite you to contact me for a free assessment of the risks of sharing this struggle with your parents. My primary objective is always to build support via parents. While this is possible in the vast majority of cases, it is not possible in every case. If that is your situation, you still need support and there is always a way to build a network of support. Reach out for help today.
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