I am so grateful that you found the courage to share your sexuality with me. There is nothing you will ever do to make me love you any more – or any less. As you know, we have dear family members and friends who are gay. All to say: you are not alone.
There are several things that I want you to hear from my heart to yours:
First, I wonder if you have ever been bullied or felt suicidal. I want to hear your whole story – to know what silent pains you have walked through alone. I want you to know that I will protect you from harm. I will not allow anyone in our family to ridicule, condemn or exclude you.
Second, I understand that you did not choose your sexual orientation. I will never blame you, shame you or demand that you attempt to become straight. I know that these desires are very complex.
Third, I want to understand where you are with God. Have you experienced His presence through all this? If not, are you upset with God? If so, is it because He failed to answer your prayers or because others have proclaimed that God is against you? No one can take Jesus from you. If you have business to work out with God regarding your faith and sexuality, then do so honestly “with” Him.
Fourth, we live in a world that demands binary answers that swing us to the far left or the far right. Some of this is good – it is part of a “fight or flight” gearing designed to protect us. But in the realm of spiritual matters, we are often called to overcome this binary switch to embrace a third way.
For instance, I am not pro-gay in my beliefs but I am pro-people. Jesus never abandoned moral doctrine, yet He never condemned those who fall short of it. I want to be like Jesus – not the religious right or left. Our difference in belief will never stop me from loving you with my whole heart. You are mine – no matter what. Can we agree to place our love for one another above our difference in belief?
Fifth, I know you may not always want to talk about your sexuality, but I want you to know that you can talk with me about anything any time. Please count me as part of your support system – as someone who is always available to talk. I also plan to ask you how you are doing along the way.
Finally, please seek God during this time. Do not let scary verses keep you from the bible. Do not let scary religious people keep you from the church. Make God your top priority and allow Him to walk with you. You once were a child, and I could make everything alright. As a young adult, you must now look more and more to God. I want you to understand that you are fully accepted at home, so that you do not ever feel a rejection from me that tempts you to write-off God. I want to nurture in you a healthy relationship with God. Along the way, though, I must become less. He must become more.
Even so, I am always here for you! Can I take you to lunch next week and we talk more about this?
I love you always and forever,
P.S. About my question regarding suicidal feelings, please let me know that you are alright. If your life is vulnerable or in danger, let’s immediately get you whatever help is needed.
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